Cancer, Again?

whitesandshiking

(The following is a rewrite of my deleted post, When the doctor says you have cancer, that I wrote three days ago. I deleted it, because that post was a mess. And a little hysterical. πŸ˜‰ )

This past Tuesday, two days before Thanksgiving, I went to see my doctor and he told me the growths that have recently appeared on my forehead and neck are cancer. Either basal cell or squamous. He told me I need to have them removed in the hospital. My surgery is scheduled for December 6.

My feelings felt hurt. It just doesn’t seem fair for me to have cancer, AGAIN. I had a type of uterine cancer when I was 26 years old, which the pathology report said had most likely already spread to my endocrine system. But after much prayer and only minimal surgery, and no other treatment, I was cancer free. That was 39 years ago. I was even able to have another child a year and a half later, despite the surgeon saying that would never be possible because of my extensive scar tissue.

When I was in my early thirties, I had a large painful tumor in my gallbladder. The doctor said it was almost certainly cancer and that it needed to come out right away. I saw the surgeon on a Friday and he scheduled me for surgery the following Wednesday. Not wanting to have another surgery, I told the surgeon, an atheist, that I was going to pray and ask God to take the tumor away. The surgeon literally laughed in my face. “You can pray,” he said, “But I will see you in the hospital this Wednesday.”

Wednesday came and I checked myself into the hospital as instructed, even though the intense pain was gone and only a mild achey soreness remained. The pre-op nurse said the surgeon wanted her to do another ultrasound first thing, to see if the tumor had changed or grown since my previous ultrasound, which had been done five days before. I got up on the table, she ran the wand over my belly, and as she did, she looked puzzled. “This machine doesn’t seem to be working right,” she said. “Let’s try this other ultrasound machine.” So I walked across the room and climbed up on another table. After passing the second wand over my belly and taking several photographs, she printed out the pictures and said, “I will be right back.”

Moments later, I was summoned to the surgeon’s office. I found him sitting behind his desk, staring at two pictures that he held, one in each hand. “Look!” he said. “Do you see how big your gallbladder was last Friday? Do you see how this large, single mass completely filled up your enlarged gallbladder? Now, look at today’s picture. Not only is the mass completely gone — your gallbladder is many times smaller than it was just five days ago. Thin and elongated, back down to a normal shape and size.”

Then this atheist surgeon looked at me in amazement. “Maybe God really did heal you!” he said.

When I was in my forties, shortly after graduating from nursing school, I had all the yucky symptoms of colon cancer, which is one of several cancers that run in my family. Surgery removed a large precancerous polyp, which the pathology report said was adenomous benign. Many colonoscopies later, I remain free of colon polyps and free of colon cancer.

But now I have skin cancer and I’m scheduled for surgery in less than two weeks. This will be my fourth surgical procedure done under general anesthesia since May 2017. I really hate going under general anesthesia, because I have almost died from an anaphylactic shock reaction to an anesthesia drug, twice in the past. But even more than hating anesthesia, I hate the word cancer.

Why, God?

As I was driving home from seeing the surgeon last Tuesday, right after being told that my suspicion was correct, that these new growths are cancer, I prayed and asked God WHY? Then these words from a song that we sang in church last Sunday, came to my mind:

Your mercies are new
Over and over
Your mercies are new
Over and over
As surely as the morning comes
You’re faithful!

Yes, Lord. Your will be done. My life belongs to You. Thank You that I have an excellent surgeon whom I trust. Thank You for a good hospital and a great surgical team that has always taken the best care of me. Thank You for my excellent health insurance. Thank You for my loving husband and my caring and dependable stepdaughter; I know they will see me through as I heal from this surgery, as they have done before. And thank You that my Google search revealed that basal cell and squamous cell skin cancers almost never metastasize and kill a person. Thank You for miraculously healing me of various kinds of cancer and precancer in the past! Most of all, God, I thank You for Your great love and mercy, and for Your amazing grace that has saved my soul, through the cross of Jesus Christ, my Savior and my Lord. Amen!

Your mercies are new
Over and over…..

~Thank you to my readers for stopping by. And an extra special big hearty Thank You to my long time blogger friend, Phoebe Sparrow Wagner, the author of WagBlog (https://pamelaspirowagner.com) whose great knowledge about skin cancers alleviated my fear of googling basal and squamous cell carcinomas.

((HUGS)) and Love and Happy Merry Christmas Holidays!

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22 thoughts on “Cancer, Again?

  1. Salvageable November 24, 2018 / 1:00 pm

    God is good; therefore you are in good hands. I continue to pray for you. J.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. CynthiaBaileyRug November 24, 2018 / 1:24 pm

    You are in my prayers! Thank you for sharing what you have about this awful situation. You’re such an inspiration! ❀

    Liked by 4 people

  3. bornagain732 November 24, 2018 / 1:28 pm

    This made me cry tears of joy as I felt the gift 🎁 of faith our God – through Jesus- gives us during these trying times!
    God is good ALL of the time. πŸ™πŸ»β€οΈπŸ™πŸ»β€οΈπŸ™πŸ»β€οΈ

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Alexis Rose November 24, 2018 / 2:50 pm

    Im so sorry to hear this Linda. And know you will be okay. Sending you prayers and lots of healing hugs. ❀️❀️

    Liked by 5 people

  5. PreacherBiker November 24, 2018 / 5:34 pm

    Love you my snugebwoogems I’ll be with you forever xoxoxoxo

    Sent from my T-Mobile 4G LTE Device

    Liked by 1 person

  6. atimetoshare.me November 24, 2018 / 6:12 pm

    I will keep you in prayer. You’re so right about God being in control. You have been through this turmoil before and he’s brought you through it and he will again. You are loved❀️❀️

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Lee Poskey November 24, 2018 / 6:40 pm

    God bless you my sister. I didn’t know that you deleted your previous post, I thought it was very good.
    But I have continued to pray for you since you posted that original post, and I will continue to do so.

    You are not forgotten Linda, and you are never alone. God loves you so very much.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Cherilyn Clough November 24, 2018 / 7:17 pm

    Oh Linda, my heart is with you! I will be praying for you to be cancer free either through the treatment or the miracle and I will pray for you on December 6th. Peace will be yours through Jesus who will hold you in his arms no matter what. Thank you for your candid sharing! You give courage to others!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Marie Abanga November 24, 2018 / 9:17 pm

    Oh Linda, am just seeing this. I am glad you have had time to process it all and gotten the place of ‘Thank you Father…’. I will put you in my prayers. I really wish you all the best and appreciate your sharing it all with us

    Liked by 2 people

  10. adamjasonp November 25, 2018 / 4:56 am

    You have been, and continue to be, an inspiration. May you overcome this. I shall pray for you.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Linda Lee/@LadyQuixote November 25, 2018 / 1:44 pm

      Oh, Adam. I have simply been approving and liking all these kind comments, but I haven’t felt up to replying to anyone yet… until I read yours. You gave me happy tears. Thank you.

      P.S.: I don’t want anyone with a gossipy mind getting any false ideas about my reply to Adam. I am pretty sure that he is young enough to be my grandson, okay? But he is a great inspiration to me, too.

      Liked by 2 people

  11. sandyfaithking November 25, 2018 / 7:32 am

    Well that sucks, but the odds are on your side. I pray you have plenty of love and support around you as you go into surgery on 6th December.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Anna Waldherr November 26, 2018 / 11:44 am

    A powerful and moving post, Linda. I am truly sorry to hear you are going through this again. Another friend of mine is on her 5th bout w/ cancer. I had a melanoma removed, myself, years ago. Cancer can be a terrifying illness, but as you so clearly demonstrate our God is greater. You are in my prayers. ❀

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Denise Hisey November 26, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    I wondered what happened a few days ago when I kept clicking on the link from the reader and it said it was not available….glad you rewrote and explained…
    Sad to hear of the diagnosis and the new chapter cancer brings to your life.
    Being angry or confused with God is normal and pretty healthy I’d venture to say. Doesn’t change His goodness or mean we don’t have faith. Just that we’re human.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Bill Sweeney November 27, 2018 / 12:43 pm

    I will be praying for you, my new friend. I have too much experience with getting basel cells cut off of my body. I hope and will be praying it’s only basal cell.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. insanitybytes22 December 2, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    This was just the sweetest post. Thanks for being such an inspiration and a motivator for the rest of us.

    Liked by 2 people

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