This is an excellent post by Cynthia Bailey Rug. I especially like the first two paragraphs:
Many people think that understanding your abuser is unimportant to the healing process. They say the reasons they did what they did doesn’t matter- only the fact that they hurt you matters. I disagree with this type of thinking.
When you understand what makes your abuser tick, it helps you a great deal by seeing that that person is the one with the problem, not you. You finally can see that you aren’t responsible for what they did to you. You did nothing to make that person hurt you. Nothing you did or didn’t do forced them to hurt you. Ultimately, it’s the choice of the abuser how they treat people & once you understand that your abuser made some very bad choices, it sets you free of any false guilt you carried for what you endured.
Understanding your abuser also helps you if you are still in a relationship with…
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