Finding meaning in life after narc abuse and in poverty

Although my father and my mother have abandoned me, Yet the Lord will take me up [adopt me as His child]. ~Psalm 27:10 (Amplified Bible)

Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me. ~Isaiah 49:15-16 (NIV)


I love Katie’s blog, Dreams of a Better World, and I relate very much to her life history. When I read about the way Katie’s narcissistic family has treated her, I get ANGRY. I want to go and ask them what in the heck they are doing.

What Katie said about her parents “not having enough money” to pay for her to go to the dentist, while sending Katie’s golden child sister to a private school and buying the sister expensive Nordstrom clothes, while Katie got clothes bought at Goodwill… Ohhh, it made me see red!!

My mother did a similar thing in denying me dental care. After my parents’ marriage ended very violently, with my dad arrested for trying to murder my mom and then locked on a psych ward for several months, we had no income. Without a high school diploma and with four preschool children at the time (I was twelve and the only one of five kids old enough to go to school), my mother did not try to look for a job. So we went on welfare.

There was a program back then where the state would pay for dental care for children on welfare. My mother was told that she had to take us to the dentist for a checkup. We went, and the dentist found a serious problem that he said he could correct with a root canal. He told my mother that because I was a minor, she needed to sign a consent form. She refused. He explained that the risk to my health of NOT having the procedure done was far greater than the slight risk of having it done. Still she refused. He told her that it would not cost her one penny, and that not having the work done could cause me to lose my front upper teeth and ruin my appearance. Still she refused!

The dentist was very upset. He actually told me, a twelve year old child, that he had never seen such an unloving, selfish mother in his life. Although it hurt to hear those words, I am glad he gave me some much-needed validation! When you grow up being treated like you are worthless by your own mother, you don’t know what “normal” is.

By some fluke (or maybe it was a miracle?), my injured front tooth that needed a root canal more than half a century ago, eventually stopped hurting. I had hit that tooth on a metal bar and it was very loose and it hurt. The dentist x-rayed my tooth and said that the nerve and the root were damaged and needed surgery to correct. But I still have that same tooth today, and it is not loose anymore. It doesn’t hurt me at all, either.

I believe God took care of that tooth for me when my mother could easily have had it done, but refused to do it. Who knows, maybe that caring dentist was praying for me and God answered his prayers? I have had other root canals since I became an adult and could pay for them myself. I have also had a total of four extractions of my back teeth. But my front tooth that hurt and was loose after being slammed into a metal bar half a century ago is still fine!

Please go to the original post and show Katie your appreciation. Thank you for stopping by and God bless.


3 thoughts on “Finding meaning in life after narc abuse and in poverty

  1. Object of Contempt April 22, 2016 / 8:22 pm

    This post is so close… it hurts. Then I realize I’m thinking just about myself and become ashamed. “Groomed for failure” “Success is sabotaged in scapegoat” Very, very accurate.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lady Quixote/Linda Lee April 22, 2016 / 9:01 pm

      Oh my gosh… I know exactly what you mean about feeling ashamed for thinking about yourself when you are reading about another person’s suffering!!!

      Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter April 22, 2016 / 11:47 pm

      You too? I am following your blog now too. This is a wonderful article. Every adult who was scapegoated by narcissistic parents and groomed to fail should be required to read it.

      Liked by 2 people

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