Two out of Three is not Enough

What I have below is a reblog – yes, another one – and an URGENT PRAYER REQUEST for a situation that is very close to my heart. (I apologize that this is so long, my prayer request took a lot of words to explain.)

But first, about the reblog at the bottom of this post: I don’t often do reblogs, especially not three in one day. But after reading the following post on my favorite blog, Grace for my Heart, in Pastor Dave Orrison’s “Narcissist Friday” series, I just couldn’t resist. In this brilliant post, Pastor Dave is using the lyrics of a song made popular by the rock star Meatloaf as a prime example of how a narcissist does “relationship.”

As for Meatloaf, like Dave, I am also a fan, although not quite as much as I was before I became close friends with his then mother-in-law, now his former mother-in-law, fifteen years ago when I lived in her neighborhood in Pennsylvania. Oh, the inside stories I could tell! But of course, I won’t break my friend’s confidence.

I think it is safe to tell this, though. My friend Virginia, Meat’s mother-in-law of over twenty years (yes, that’s what she called him, “Meat”), sometimes got tired of how people reacted when they learned she was related to a well known singer. Placing her hands on her slender hips, Virginia would toss her gray hair and declare: “I… was Somebody… Before… Meatloaf!” Lol… I miss that lovely feisty lady.

My missing grandson is on the right, my great grandson on the left.
My missing grandson is on the right, my great grandson on the left.

***HERE’S THE SITUATION THAT NEEDS URGENT PRAYER: (Before I go any further, in keeping with my policy of anonymity when writing about people who, unlike Meatloaf, are not public figures, from here on I will not be using any names. God knows who we all are.)

My 41-year-old daughter is going through hell right now, caused by the extremely malignant narcissistic actions of the man she divorced twelve years ago. He is just like Meatloaf’s “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” song, a man who is seemingly incapable of ever loving anyone, but with an impossible list of demands and expectations for everyone else. He has badgered my daughter nonstop through the court system during the dozen years since she finally said enough and left him, bleeding her dry financially in the process, and wrecking her health with the never ending stress.

Now – as of yesterday – my former son-in-law has apparently disappeared with their son, my precious, disabled grandson. This is after my daughter’s ex-husband apparently stole $18,000 right out of his daughter’s bank account. I am talking about my granddaughter, the one who is now in a graduate program at Harvard University. She was depending on her money to help pay for the final classes she needs to get her hard earned diploma. (This money was part of an insurance settlement to compensate my granddaughter for having a broken back caused by a car accident when she was a little girl.)

After taking his own daughter’s insurance settlement money – and using the excuse that it was okay, because he had been paying some of her expenses, prior to him cleaning out her bank account – my former son-in-law took my granddaughter off his health insurance with no warning. He did this, knowing that with her ongoing back problems, she desperately needs health insurance. As a college student in her early twenties, she was eligible to remain on her dad’s insurance plan through his employer. But despite this, he took her off. My granddaughter discovered she had no health insurance recently when she tried to see her doctor for a sinus infection. Needless to say, my granddaughter was heartbroken that her dad would do such a cruel thing, on top off stealing all her remaining money.

And now, my grandchildren’s father is apparently on the run with my grandson.

My daughter, my granddaughter, and I are all frantic right now. That’s why I am asking everyone who reads this to please pray that our gracious Lord Jesus will intervene and for His perfect will to be done in this heartbreaking and scary situation. Please pray especially for protection for my severely disabled grandson. He just turned 18 last month, which is probably why his father chose this time to run away with him, as the child custody order is no longer in effect. However, although my grandson is legally an adult, cognitively he is only on the level of an 18-month-old child. He cannot even speak. He is helplessly and utterly dependent. And yet, despite his profound physical and cognitive disabilities, my grandson has a heart and a spirit that is PURE LOVE, far beyond that of most “normal” people.

Also, please pray for my heartbroken daughter, who is herself in college working toward a doctorate in psychology. She was already struggling financially just to buy food and pay her rent. She lost her job recently and yesterday she was waiting to do a job interview when she got the call from her son’s school alerting her to the fact that her son was missing. This morning, my husband and I sent a few hundred dollars by Western Union to my daughter to try to help. We sent all we could afford, all that we had left to send after paying our bills for the month. But it is a drop in the bucket compared to what my daughter and her family needs right now.

Unfortunately, my daughter followed in my footsteps and has learned the hard way what it means to be involved with abusive malignant narcissistic personalities.

Thank you, everyone, for your prayers! While you are at it, please pray that mama-grandma-grizzly (me) does NOT try to take matters into her own hands!! Some of the thoughts that I have been having since yesterday in regards to my former son-in-law are definitely not Christian.

God bless. And please, visit Pastor Dave’s awesome blog (link below) for the best information I have found online about how to discern and deal with narcissistic personalities.

Grace for my Heart

It’s Narcissist Friday!     

“Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad”
Baby we can talk all night
But that ain’t getting us nowhere
I told you everything I possibly can
There’s nothing left inside of here
And maybe you can cry all night
But that’ll never change the way that I feel
The snow is really piling up outside
I wish you wouldn’t make me leave here
I poured it on and I poured it out
I tried to show you just how much I care
I’m tired of words and I’m too hoarse to shout
But you’ve been cold to me so long
I’m crying icicles instead of tears
And all I can do is keep on telling you
I want you
I need you
But there ain’t no way
I’m ever gonna love you
Now don’t be sad
‘Cause two out of three ain’t bad
Now don’t be…

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15 thoughts on “Two out of Three is not Enough

  1. survivednarc March 4, 2016 / 9:14 pm

    Oh, I hope and pray that everything will turn out alright for your family. The narcissist’s actions can sometimes be too cruel to understand… I send hope and strength to you in these hard times! Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lady Quixote/Linda Lee March 4, 2016 / 10:38 pm

      Thank you so much. My daughter’s ex husband disappearing with their son is doubly triggering to my daughter, and to me, because when my daughter was two years old, her father absconded with her and her brother, my then 5-year-old son. I went through hell until I found my two children and got them back… more than two years later. My children also went through hell, as my ex told them that I was dead. He took them out of the country. It was… evil.

      Like

  2. Rachel March 5, 2016 / 6:05 am

    Praying for you all in this horrible situation. May the Lord send His Angels to protect your grandson and all the family. God Bless.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. sandrasweetsiesta March 5, 2016 / 8:09 am

    That’s what makes it particularly hard Linda, the N’s can turn on their own family, when family is supposed to work together to benefit each other in unison. Remember this, those who know what’s going on, you, your daughter, and whomever else, you all have each other. There is strength in numbers. Pull together as you have and work on this. This shouldn’t be happening at all, yet it is. Keep praying, think positive although I’m sure it’s hard to. Once everyone is safe and sound, maybe this time, the N will have gone too far and justice will finally be done.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. sandrasweetsiesta March 5, 2016 / 8:14 am

    And thanks for showing me Grace for my Heart. I’m going to follow that blog too. A Pastor who knows about N’s. I think that’s wonderful.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lady Quixote/Linda Lee March 5, 2016 / 12:02 pm

      Yes, that’s part of why I reblogged his post, because I want to spread the word about Pastor Dave’s very helpful blog. I have recently started reading his blog from the beginning. He started posting in 2010, I am now up to February 2011. I hope he writes a book. 🙂

      Like

  5. sleeping tiger March 5, 2016 / 9:41 am

    Oh Linda, this is awful. I’m so sorry to read this and for what you are going through. Sending prayers to all of you and big cyber hugs of comfort.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. davebarclay1954 March 6, 2016 / 12:29 pm

    This story is not all that unusual, however, that doesn’t make it right. I’m praying for this young boy being returned soon and the horrible man who abducted his son is caught and prosecuted for stealing his daughter’s college fund, kidnapping his son (I take it he has no right to have care for his son?) and that your daughter finds peace from this frightening time soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lady Quixote/Linda Lee March 6, 2016 / 1:27 pm

      Thank you for your prayers. Sadly, I know this isn’t unusual… when my daughter was two and my older son was five, they were taken by my former husband. He took them out of the country and told them I was dead. More than two horrible years later, I got my children back.

      Because of this early childhood trauma, my daughter is being triggered by her ex husband’s actions on many levels. She and her ex started out with shared custody, with their two children living primarily with my daughter. She thought that shared custody would be best for the children, which was always her primary concern. But their father’s only concern has been to make my daughter suffer for leaving his sorry a$$, by lying, cheating, stealing… and now this.

      Sadly, I used to like my children’s father. He seemed responsible, hard working, and polite. I was concerned, however, by how he always seemed to be “irritated” with my daughter. He never looked at her or talked to her in a loving way. I used to hope that they had plenty of loving, tender moments when I was not around. But after she left him, I learned that the way he treated her when no one was there to see, was much worse, not better.

      Liked by 1 person

      • davebarclay1954 March 6, 2016 / 11:33 pm

        Sadly that’s too often the case. I hope your daughter gets the love she deserves, gets her son back and sees her ex go to jail then prison for a very long time, love and peace to you all during this impossible time xo

        Liked by 1 person

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